Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.


Friday, July 28, 2006

The following is an email that arrived in our (my colleagues' and mine) collective inboxes this morning. One of the "lifers," as I like to refer those who have made a life long career out of this place, composed these guidelines for us newbies and non-lifers alike:



From: Lifer
Sent: Friday, July 28, 2006
To: Non-Lifers & Newbies
Subject: Top Secret List

Per your request, below is a list of the Top 10 Things That Will Keep You From Getting Yelled At by retracted. I understand the rationale for some, not all, but trust me: following these guidelines will save you several trips into his office:

  • Do not use the logo memo pads for scrap paper


  • Guys: Always wear yarmulkas for advertiser meetings. Girls: Skirts


  • Say hi and bye to him when you arrive and leave for the day


  • Read the Jerusalem Post daily; Keith Kelly’s column in the NY Post on Wednesday and Fridays


  • Turn your cell phone ringer off during the day


  • If he tells you you did something wrong, don’t explain how a character flaw contributed to you messing up.


  • Put a title on all your emails


  • Answer the phones


  • Turn off your computer screen when you leave for the day


  • Act more formal to advertisers than they do to you


  • I unfortunately haven’t learned all the rules yet (still get called in quite a bit) but I’ll pass on more as I learn them – feel free to do the same…

    Signed,

    Lifer


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