From: Boss
To: FakeJew
Date: Jul 12, 2006 8:07 AM
Subject: Day 1

FakeJew:

I'll be out of the office for the majority of the day, so Redheaded girl with the annoying Long Island accent will be showing you around. If you have any questions, just ask. I've asked her to introduce you to your editorial staff as well as the ad sales team and designers. Being in the business for as long as you have, I probably don't have to tell you that the ad guys pretty much run the show. Get used to their requests to slightly alter content to appease the advertisers' every need. I thought it wise to warn you about this upfront, seeing as how this has been a gripe of previous editors. Unfortunately, editors don't pay my mortgage (It's my humor—you'll get used to it. For now, just try not to take it personally).

On that note, remind Redheaded girl with the annoying Long Island accent to show you the latest book's galley sheets and the layout, which we hang on the wall in the design area (I've actually CC'd her on this email, so just keep it in mind). This is how we keep track of ad pages versus editorial pages; finished pages versus unfinished. Yes - a little archaic, but it works.

What else?

Oh, after you have become acquainted with the ''lay of the land," or so to speak, I'd like you to spend some more time with our past few issues and come up with ten feature-length article ideas (You'll notice that we like sidebars). I'll use these to gauge how in sync we are, and to find out how to better train you for the position.

This should be enough to get you started. I'll check in with you when I return later.

Welcome Aboard. We're thrilled to have you.

Warmest Regards,

Boss
Bosses Cheesy Signature Line
Bosses Cheesy Signature Line 2
Bosses Cheesy Signature Line 3


All of this can essentially be summed up as: and will have a more prominent role in editorial than I do.