Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.


Monday, July 10, 2006

I didn't mean to take a job with a Jewish magazine, but, quite frankly, I was running out of money...

Plus, it's not like the owner of the mag could really ask me if I was Jewish or not. So, I just thought to let him assume.

His assumption manifested in this question:

"So, what kind of Jew are you?"

(Not, "Are you a Jew?" No, no, no... Clearly I was a Jew. Why else would I be interviewing?)

"Ummmm... Sephardic?"

(I'm Italian. Often confused with Spanish. Confusion is close enough, right?)

"Sephardic, eh?"

What a coincidence. We were both Sephardic Jews.

My job would be senior editor of the magazine. 5 days a week, half days on Fridays. No insurance, but the celebrity interviews? Mine. There were posters everywhere. Ariel Sharon, Bill Clinton, Rudy Giuliani, so on and so forht. Sounded great, but I still declined.There's just no way I could pull it. I don't even know what Hannukah is. Passover? Yum Kippur? Pickled Herring? Mezuzah-door-thing-a-ma-jig? Beats the Matzoh outta me. But, I do know who Moses is:Charlton Heston. Duh.

He must have liked me though, because he called me the same day and gave me an instant $400/month raise so that I'd say yes. "And we'll review that number after 3 months," he continued.

If only I make it that long before I'm 'outed.' After all, don't forget what happened to him:


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Except, I think it was the reverse situation. Oh what I would give for an ounce of his Jew-ness...

Either way, deception never was one of the virtuous ten.

"I'm in."

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