Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

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As you might recall, there are two designers who work here: The Silent Designer and The Other Designer. The Other Designer is the one who was suspiciously excited when he happened upon The Silent Designers updated resume a few weeks ago. In fact, it was The Other Designer who originally broke the story, much to his own chagrin. He would give anything to get promoted into The Silent Designer’s spot. Alas, he has started acting as if he has already been promoted and that the The Silent Designer isn’t really here. The weird part is, The Other Designer hasn't and The Silent Designer is.

I noticed The Other Designer's “subtle” transformation last week.

We are not required to wear anything fancier than jeans and a T-shirt to work (so you can only imagine my dismay slash confusion when SuperJew wore the Fedora Hat, wraparound dress and strappy heels last Friday, as she passed out goody bags and hosted the bagel-caviar buffet). Anyway, The Other Designer has been coming into work wearing slacks and button-ups since last Wednesday. Initially, I thought he perhaps had a thing for OrthoJew. After all, he’s been extremely proactive in regards to helping her get acquainted with her new position. It seemed an obvious conclusion. But after a few days of studying his new patterns (and his new brief case!), I’ve realized that he is trying to “step up to the plate,” as it were.

The Silent Designer, on the other hand, will have none of this. “What do you think this is—Condé Nast or something?” Considering his usual silence, he’s a pretty blunt guy; one of those people who doesn't talk much, so when he does say something, it's worth paying attention to. I imagine this is why he was given the superior position in the first place. Both designers are equally talented, but The Silent Designer demands more respect than does The Other Designer.

I think what we have here is a classic case of “If you dress the part, you’ll become the part” syndrome. A lot of actors suffer from said syndrome when they go to auditions. For instance, if an actor’s auditioning for a part as a cowboy, he’ll wear boots and assless chaps to show his dedication to the role. Really though, the casting director won’t give him the part unless he can be the cowboy. The actor, on the other hand, thinks he is being the cowboy. “See, look at my outfit. I am the cowboy!”

As an aside, I’m interested in seeing what The Other Designer will wear for Halloween. I now have a hunch that he’s going to go a little bit too far with it. “But, I am a girl,” he will say as he re-stuffs his borrowed Hooters shirt and combs his long blonde wig. (He'd make a ridiculously ugly JAP, by the way).

All of this is to say that there really is no reason for The Other Designer to be going out of his way in the clothing department. I don’t know any creatives who wear slacks, no less even own them. If he wants to play the part of The Silent Designer, he should just shut up and design…in his pajamas.

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