FakeJew(ish Person): He'Brew? The beer chosen by the chosen people?
RealJew(ish Person): Yep, that's us.
FakeJew(ish Person): Who chose you?
RealJew(ish Person): Someone with some seriously good taste.
FakeJew(ish Person): Wow, that's an incredibly pompous tagline. But, since I'm an advocate of shameless self-promotion, I'm going to give it a thumbs up.
RealJew(ish Person): What can I say? My people have a good advertising agency.

RealJew(ish Person): You should write about going to Shabbat services on a Saturday and describe your adventures there.
FakeJew(ish Person): No, I don't want to make anything up. Plus, I'd probably trip over the details and it would be obvious I wasn't really there.
RealJew(ish Person): Trust me, half of us don't know the details. That's the beauty of being born into it; you don't have have to.