Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.


Sunday, August 27, 2006


Odds and Ends for a Rainy NYC Day.


In Fake Jewish People News:

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Madonna urges British government to use 'mystical' Kabbalah fluid to clean up radioactive waste.

It's so obvious. Why didn't I think of that?
Read story here.

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Ashton Kutcher treats religion like an old shirt. According to a source, "I think it’s getting a little old for him. [Demi] keeps on having to tell him to put on his red string."

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I might be a fake, but he was way worse:

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Dathan was a Jew who sold Moses out to the Egyptians, thus giving fakers a bad name for the rest of, well, eternity.

In Answer to Your Question:

Q: Hey Not Chosen, please note that the married OrthoJews will often wear a wig instead of a hat. It covers their "natural beauty" so no one but their husbands will see it. Thing is, the wigs can be FAR more attractive than their natural hair. I don't quite get the logic on that one. Would you kindly investigate?

A: Natural beauty, in this situation, is held to a higher regard than is beauty as defned by cultural trends. The wig is considered superficial beauty while the real hair is considered sacred beauty, like that which is found within a temple or similar religious institution.

Okay, fine, I made that up.

The Part of Lisa Turtle from Saved by the Bell...

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...was originally slated to be a Jewish American Princess, but casting directors fell in love with Lark Voorhies and altered the part to fit her in.

Search Terms/Phrases that may or may not have brought you here (but they brought someone):

"Packaged Flan"
"Present to a Briss?"
"How to rid yourself of stereotypes"
"Jap Blog Princess"
"Foreskin Image
"
"Wild XXX Girls"
"Girl Showering"
"Harry Posin"
"Asian doctor + Dr. 90210"
"Shabot dinner"
"Shabbat dinner"
"What is a Shiksa?"
"Jappy"

Not Chosen, Just Posin' T-Shirts are in:

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Oh yeah, mugs too. For now, just my glorious logo. Character T-shirts coming soon. See SuperJew and OrthoJew duke it out on non-wrinkle cotton. The Publisher's Wife with her hair in curlers; the Redheaded Girl with the Annoying Long Island Accent talking up a storm; the Silent Designer doing the opposite; and my Future Girlfriend revoking the kneepad from her current boyfriend and regifting it to me (sick, I know). For more info, go here.

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