Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.


Tuesday, August 22, 2006

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Since SuperJew is leaving in less than 3 days (Party. My House. Friday.), the publisher called in a replacement to 'learn the ropes' before she's officially gone.

I could all but hear SuperJew giggling to herself when the new girl walked in today: long skirt, long-sleeve shirt, eyes to the ground. SuperJew is one of those who feeds off of the insecurity of others'. That said, I’m sure she found more than a little satisfaction in the fact that the new girl’s fashion sense can, in no way, compete with her own chic Los Angeles duds. I am certain SuperJew, in some sick and diabolical way, would like to think she’s going to leave a lasting impression on this place; that people are going to miss her and that she can not be completely replaced. Truth is: she’s not, they’re not and she can.

I have to give SuperJew some credit though. She’s been doing a good job of pretending she is helpful and knowledgeable today. Overall, I'd say her most impressive display is the one where she pretends she’s even remotely pleasant. With acting skills like this, might I suggest she consider going back to L.A.?

A few people were kind of bummed when I announced that SuperJew was leaving my cast of characters. “It’s just like J.K. Rowling killing off Harry Potter, dude! You just can’t do it,” said one. And while I admit that my blog is just as important as the Harry Potter series, I can’t do anything about SuperJew’s departure (aside from celebrate).

But, not to worry; SuperJew has unknowingly done all of us the following favor: A bit earlier, when the new girl was using the restroom, I overheard SuperJew discussing her new protégé with the Silent Designer (who has yet to quit).

“Oh my gosh, she’s, like, totally ConservaJew.”

And, just like that, a new character is born.
Welcome to the cast, ConservaJew.

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