In today's breaking edition of FakeJew News, our favorite Semitic imposter (no, not me silly), Madonna, has adopted a boy from Malawi. His name is David, most likely short for "Star of..." You know, because she's Jewish and stuff.

All week that crazy Esther has tricked us, forcing her otherwise trustworthy publicist to say that 'tis not so. The nerve of Madge (how many names does this lady have?) to make her publicist blatantly lie like that. Now people might not believe what she says in the future. What a shame.

The Daily Mail reports that, "The singer flew there [Malawi] by private jet to 'locate a suitable candidate' according to officials in the southern African country."*

Suitable candidate, eh? That's a loaded phrase. It would really take some, umm, enviable personality characteristics to fit-in with that family. Well, at least they look alike. A striking resemblance, indeed.

*The Daily Mail is a British publication, which is appropriate since not only has Madonna decided to be Jewish, she has also decided to be British.