Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

It was a lot brighter than this...

I've been sick the last couple of days and think I'm getting the grunt of it today. There are a couple schools of thought on the subject of showing up to work sick. 1). You are a good employee, 2). Get the hell out of here before you get me sick.

While I don't want to get anyone sick, I have a ton to accomplish today. So, this morning I crushed up some Vitamin C into a powder, added honey and ate it off the spoon like my grandma has always done. It's not working, but it was pretty yummy.

Anyway, my mind's all over the place, which means my post is just going to be a collage of randomness today. If ever there was a post to skip, it's this one.

-I recommended one of my Brooklyn photographer friends for a freelance job about a month ago and we used him. (He's one of the few freelancers who actually got paid). Yesterday, the Publisher's Wife and I were trying to think of who to use for an upcoming shoot and his name came up. Her response: "He's in denial." Meaning, she thinks that he likes guys, even though he dates girls. She wouldn't be the first to think this, but it was great to hear her insult someone besides the people in this office. She's an equal opportunity shit-talker.

-Someone asked me why my site was puke green the other day. I wouldn't call it puke green, per se, maybe more the color of a tree in a cartoon or something. Anyway, there IS a reason my site is green and it's a pathetic one, so don't laugh: Back in college, I spent my summers working in the banquet department of a hotel. I always remembered a Jewish wedding that I worked at because the bride was wearing a green silk dress the color of my site. I thought that it was a tradition for Jewish women to wear green when they got married. I mean, why else would she have chosen that color, right? Anyway, that said, I thought green was a Jewish color and that's why my site is green. Can we change the subject?

This is so wrong.

-Someone sent me this picture and a link. The site is pretty funny and so are the shirts--even though the only one I am qualified to buy is from the "Gentile File." It's white with one word across the chest: Hick. I'd say that's pretty accurate.

- I announced the following on my myspace page, but thought I should share it with those of you who aren't on myspace (After all, I wasn't even on it until last week):

Some crazy agent thought that I was observant and witty enough (smart, sexy and clever, too) to pull off a book about my experience here. He's totally right. I'm a sexy beast. I originally thought to write it as a straight memoir, but only fiction can do justice to the characters I’ve met, seeing as how they aren't interesting enough to fill an entire book. I plan to give each one of them a better personality (starting with OrthoJew) and to weave in an entertaining storyline. If ever there was a personality plastic-surgeon, it's me. I could make millions doing this in reality. I can't tell you much about the book at this point (because there's not much to tell), but I will say that it will be full of Jewish love and humor. Dry humor, that is. It's the best kind. Oh yeah, it won't be a "blog book" either. Those tend to suck. I'll give you updates frequently.

-The Publisher is out of town today (Detroit? ), so there's a possibility that all this work I have to do will be bypassed in favor of a nap on my desk.

Normal posting will resume if the Vitamin C ever kicks in.

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