Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.


Sunday, October 01, 2006


The Man Whore is at it again. In case you don't recall, last time we visited the Man Whore we found him pretending that he was a) Jewish, b) Kosher and c) Moving to Israel, all in the name of hooking up with some Israeli exchange girl (who turned out to be not so kosher, but very bi-sexual).

Seeing as how we share a common interest (posing as Jewish men for our own personal gain), I gave the Man Whore a call to hang out on Friday night. He answered the phone but was whispering that he couldn't make it out until later.

"Why are you whispering?" I asked him.

"I'm in my girl's bathroom. I'm over here eating Shabbat dinner."

"Dude, does she still think you're Jewish?!"

"Yeah. Gotta run. I'll meet up with you later."

When I met up with him later, he was wearing a silk shirt with some crazy zebra print across the chest. So ugly, yet so perfect. How could this girl possibly take him seriously, no less not suspect that the guy has ulterior motives? I mean, there's no chance in hell that a zebra's kosher, right?

I called him tonight to bust his balls about going to synagogue for Kol Nidre* service.

"Nah, man. The Bears are playing."

So, there you have it.


*New vocabulary word alert.

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