Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.


Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Nothing much happened today at work because everybody was too busy catching up on the work day lost to Yom Kippur, so I thought I'd share an email a friend sent my may.

I'll admit up front, I thought this was real until I got to the end.

From: chris
Date: Sep 29, 2006 3:27 PM
Subject: Jewish Survivor
To: Not Chosen

This was forwarded to me by my ex-girlfriend... who, yes, lives on the Upper East Side, and is the jappiest jap that ever japped. Think you'll find it amusing...

Here's the premise: 16 Jews are put in a two-bedroom co-op on the Upper West Side of New York. Each week they vote out one member,until there is a final survivor who gets $1 million (but placed into a trust that does not vest until age 59).

The Rules:
1. No cleaning lady.
2. No use of ATMs or credit cards.
3. No food from take-out or delivery which specifically includes Chinese food.
4. All purchases must be at full retail prices.
5. Women may not call their mother, men may not call their office.
6. Outside trips must be by foot, bus or subway. No limos, Town Cars or cabs.
7. All workouts and exercise must be done in their apartment with no workout machines.
8. Costco is off limits.
9. No playing of Jewish geography.
10. No NY Times or Wall Street Journal is allowed for reading. Only the NY Post and NY Daily News are acceptable.
11. No reading Neiman Marcus, Sak's Fifth Avenue or Bloomingdale's catalogs.
12. Only one phone line for all 16 members. No call can last more than 3 minutes. No cell phones.
13. Maintenance problems must be resolved by the members, without help from the super or any other gentile.
14. All therapy sessions must be suspended.
15. No consulting with attorneys.
16. No whitefish, lox, or bagels.
17. No antacids of any kind.

So far, there have been NO applicants........

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