To comemmorate the last day of Sukkot, I have finally constructed what can only be referred to as my “Dream Sukkah.” Yes, I realize I should have probably built this last week, but I only learned about Sukkot on Saturday. Cut me some slack.

The Dream Sukkah is one in a line of several deluxe models, consisting of every luxury one would expect from an upscale hotel suite: champagne, fruit, palm branches and…Japs? Yes, Japs. Several of them. That’s right, this is my Dream Sukkah and in it, the mini-bar is fully loaded.

Now, you might be thinking to yourself that the Japs pictured here look like Barbies. And that’s because they do. A lot of people think that Barbie is a WASP, but it is just not so. Barbie is a Jap. The clothes, the car, the high-maintenance...where's the argument? (Which reminds me, I'm still in talks with Mattel® over a Jap Workout Barbie licensing deal, but they're too busy creating politically correct dolls to hear me out).

Anyway, next year I will probably put a few Dream Sukkahs on eBay to test out the market. If the test groups like them, I'll need a business partner. Until then, I'm having an 'End of Sukkot' party in the Dream Sukkah tonight. You'll need to be on the list to get in. No khakis. No gym shoes.