Zero.
This is the number of ads that The Publisher's brilliant new Detroit ad sales girl sold for the last issue.

$2,500.
This is the approximate amount of money he paid her for her "services."

Classified.
This is the category in which her job description is filed.

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This important news brief brought to you compliments of OrthoJew's fork (which I just licked when she wasn't looking, for purposes of my own personal amusement) and the single Sukkot palm I saw a nice Jewish gentleman carrying around in a fancy handled case this morning on 81st Street. Perhaps he is contributing to a communal sukkah? Inquiring minds...