just Iran and David Duke"
The following comes from Cimmy, one of my most recent converts. You see, as a Fake member of the tribe, you reap all the benefits of belonging without any of the dedication.
This very well be a case of student surpasses master. (Exhibit A: Knowing what the word shivah means and using it in context):
I've been pretending I'm Jewish at work lately. Remind me to tell you about it. Here are some snippets:
Middle-Aged Woman: Do you know what angel hair is?
MAW: No, no. The Christmas decoration. Really thin, shiny....
MAW: No, no. No attached to a garland.
MAW: No, no. I can't believe your generation doesn't know what angel hair is. What is Christmas coming to? Cimmy: I'm Jewish.
MAW: What does that have to do with anything?
Cimmy: *blank stare*----
Michael, the mentally-disadvantaged clerk: Are you ready for the holidays? Are you ready for Christmas? (multiply this by eleventy hundred thousand times over the course of a day)
Cimmy: I'm Jewish, Michael.
Michael: What does that mean?
Cimmy: It means I don't celebrate Christmas.
Michael: I feel sorry for you.
Cimmy: Good. Most of the world hates me.
I think pretending to be Jewish might have advantages. "Sorry, can't come to work today. Gotta sit shivah."