Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.


Thursday, December 07, 2006


The Holidays have created quite the unique division in this office: People who want to embrace Christmas (as a seasonal holiday that's fun to celebrate despite its Christian affiliations) and those who don't.

In fact, two office-decorating committees have emerged as a result: The Grinches and the Whos. I'm not kidding. We all know where OrthoJew stands, of course. The Silent Designer tried to stay neutral because he doesn't much care, but he was persuaded by our friend with the British flag-laden Mini Cooper to join the Whos. The Publisher's Wife has also joined the Whos, citing a love for the color combination (red and green) as the reason. The Publisher is a Grinch and I've decided not to take a side. I figure that if I'm pro-Grinch, I'm overcompensating and that if I'm pro-Who I'm giving myself away. You can surely see my dilemma.

Anyway, the Whos (which is, to tell you the truth, the more robust group considering no one wanted to admit being in agreement with OrthoJew about anything) is led by the OtherDesigner, who I mentioned implemented the Secret Santa program and hung up the first official wreath. The wreath has expanded into multi-colored lights draped over the microwave and "Peace on Earth" propaganda hung around the office. The Grinches have fought back, bringing in a menorah, which makes a little more sense considering the demographics, but they have placed that on top of the microwave as well. Obviously the microwave is not the most glamorous place for the menorah, but OrthoJew is going all out so that her team can survive in this competition. When I walked in this morning she was dusting it off like a trophy and unplugging the Christmas lights (it was either them or the microwave) so that she could plug in the menorah (yes, it's that kind of menorah). She has also brought in a few dradles and attached hooks to them so as to hang them, like ornaments, from the wreath. Finally, she sent out a mass email alerting everyone to the kosher gold coins she strategically placed by the menorah in the kitchen. Of course, everyone can appreciate OrthoJew's work because it reflects them all, but it is fun to watch her cringe at the opposition.

I'm going to go ahead and declare this an all-out war. I'm just waiting for the Whos' next move. I'll let you know when they roll in the nativity...


Update: Just found this. Perhaps these people would like to come to my office to conduct a case study?

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