Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

"So as you can see, I'm pretty much not worried
about your subscription list right now."

I'm still out of state right now and I know I didn't post a Christmas edition of Manwhore Monday yesterday. That's only because I've decided to ignore the Manwhore for a bit. Not only has his "stock plummeted" according to an anonymous commenter last week, but he's also cheap. Whenever we go to dinner or drinks, he orders the most but always wants to split the bill equally. He never buys rounds of drinks and when we get bottle service (admittedly, this isn't often), he drinks most of the bottle and contributes least to the bill. Basically, it costs me too much to get Manwhore stories.

Since I haven't been in the office since Thursday, I don't have much to report other than a quick rant about the Publisher's Wife. An email she sent me yesterday led me to believe that I have some serious misgivings about Christmas and its importance to Jews. I thought that even though it's not a religiously relevant holiday, it was still somewhat of a sacred day. Not at all. It really is just another day.

I got this crazy idea last night that maybe, just maybe, my boss would decide to let us take off the whole week rather than coming in tomorrow and Thursday. So, I checked my work email to see if such a message existed, only to find an email from the Publisher's Wife. She was bitching about some subscription list that needs to be updated. Are you kidding me? I looked at the time stamp: 8:21 a.m. Christmas morning. This was followed by a second email at 8:25 a.m. The latter email contained the words: "If you have too much on your plate and don't think you can handle this, I'd be happy to take it over." If you aren't fluent in passive aggresive-ese like myself, this means, "You clearly can't handle this peasant task, dumbass." Well, that's a rough translation, but it's something like that. She was referring to a bunch of people who didn't renew their subscriptions and thusly, should not be on the list (but are anyway). The catch is, she never gave me the information to remove in the first place and I'm not psychic. But that's another story. The appropriate thing to do in this situation, of course, is to respond that, "You're right, maybe you should take it over." This would be especially comical seeing as how the Publisher's Wife thinks that she's a master of reverse psychology. Therefore, she's expecting something more along the lines of: "No--I'm begging you! Please don't take away this responsibility! I won't fail you this time!"


So, granted she had no idea that I was sitting around a Christmas tree opening presents with my family while she was busy micromanaging subscriber lists, this seemed a bit much for an email sent on a day off. I don't care whether or not you regard Christmas as sacred as long as you acknowledge the fact that my vacation time is very, very much so. Bitch.

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