Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Dearest Manwhore,

I have a request for the you to make a guest appearance on the site. Do you want to write a guest post? (I know you probably don't know how to read or write, but I can help). I'm thinking maybe it could be called "The Origins of the Manwhore" and you can talk about your evolution into what you are today. A "Manwhore Timeline" of sorts. Interested?


I wrote this on Thursday, but he hasn't responded and I forgot to bring it up to him on Saturday. He was in a bad mood because the Puerto Rican girl was mad at him. He came up to my apartment before we went out and she waited in the lobby. (When I say "lobby," I actually mean "the little space separating the front door from the stairwell")

When I got downstairs, I asked her why she was mad. I assumed it had to be her suspicions about another girl, in which case, I wouldn't blame her. But, no. Her belt, which was composed of multiple chains, had got stuck on her panty hose. She was trying to fix it and asked the Manwhore for help. Here he had stepped out of the cab and opened her door. She was pissed because the Manwhore didn't care that the whole world was going to see her in her panty hose. He said he just hadn't heard her. As it turns out, I'm still not really sure why she was mad.

Anyway, the Manwhore came up with a brilliant idea that night. He's going to start dating younger girls. After all, the Puerto Rican has two kids and way too much baggage; the Greek girl was going through a divorce, and the Israeli girl still wants him to move to Tel Aviv with her. So, how is he going to go about getting these girls? Easy, he's going to start pretending he's a model/talent scout from now on. It makes complete sense. He searches for new talent and lies to girls on a regular basis anyway. Now, he'll just get a fake business card and make it official. The Manwhore Timeline will be ever the more interesting if he goes through with it.

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