Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.


Friday, January 26, 2007

OrthoJew's new mug.

BaconJew has started yet another business. In fact, he's running it right out of the office: Selling books on Amazon. I just caught him packing up Vurt, by Jeff Noon, and putting it in a company envelope, with a company label, company tape and company postage. He just laughed when I called him on it. The guy has no fear (there's nothing more frightening than having your penis chopped at six years old, and he's already gone through that, so...). I asked him how much he would make off this deal. "$2.49," he responded. ($1.00 for the book, $1.49 for shipping). At that rate, he kind of has to finagle free shipping. Otherwise, he'd be losing money. Come to think of it, I have a few books I'd like to get rid of.

In other news, I have a theory about the Publisher's Wife. I think that perhaps a number of her royal screw-ups are purposeful. She simply enjoys making other peoples' lives a living hell. Case in point: The other day when she was out of town, she "accidentally" left her suit jacket at the airport. So, yesterday the Secretary who Reeks of Cigarettes spent the entire day calling the airport trying to locate it. Come on, you know and I know that the jacket is a lost cause, but I think the joy the Publisher's Wife got from having a personal slave the whole day was more rewarding than locating the jacket

Finally, this might just be karma that the Secretary brought upon herself. OrthoJew confided in me (me!) the other day about a minor "situation." That being, she bought her own personal mug for the office since she can't stand the thought of using the "public" mugs in the kitchen. Just a day after she brought it in, OrthoJew noticed that the Secretary had it on her desk. OrthoJew went up to her and said, "Let me know when you're done with the mug. I want to use it." The Secretary informed her that there are plenty of other mugs in the kitchen. Sheepish, OrthoJew failed to say anything to her, but has been plotting to get the mug back for days now. When the Secretary sent out a mass email today saying she'd be out because her son is sick, OrthoJew ran up and stole the cup, claiming that "I feel bad. I'm going to write my name on it high school style."

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