It's Ash Wednesday.
I'm not very religious at all. However, I still opt to give up something for Lent every year. More out of tradition and respect for my parents than anything. Last year I gave up excuses. This year I'm giving up my girlfriend. She's got too much baggage and I have little tolerance. It's a long story, really, but I thought it was fitting to do it today, rather than, say, last night. You know, for the sake of religion and all.
We had a good run. Hail Mary. Hail Mary. Hail Mary.