The new trend for spring, at least in this office, is conferences.

I have successfully finagled my way into a conference every week for the past few weeks. Of course, when you work where I work there are both pros and cons to attending these things.

Pros:

-Conference = Day off. I usually stay just long enough to give a 2-minute report to the Publisher. Then I leave.
-Free food
-If you’re lucky, free drinks
-Free bag of stuff (i.e. proof that you were there—make sure to bring it in the next day for the boss to see)
-Business chicks (They're aggressive and well put together)

Cons:

-My name tag says the name of my company.
-No one really has any need to “network” with the guy from the Jewish mag (i.e. “Where are you from? Oh, excuse me, I have to go say hi to someone over there”)
-Speakers covering obvious material you already know so as to appeal to an audience of varied experience
-Free bag of stuff (Guys shouldn’t carry around tote bags)
-Business Chicks (They're annoying and in-your-face)

Yesterday, I stayed until about 12:00 at which point I ran into the Paper Guy. He was there trying to swindle business, but wasn't having much luck. Evidently that’s what people do at these things--try to get business. Hmm. My timing was impeccable: He needed a drink. I needed a drink, and so we were off. After a gin on the rocks, I ended up calling the ex and saying some really polished, polite and educated things. All in a day’s work, I guess.

I took the subway home and got off on the wrong stop. I ran back on only to get laughed at by two Asian chicks. Wait...

By 2:00 I was sitting comfortably on my couch wondering why there’s nothing on TV during the day. Anything is better than being here though.

That said; if there are any conferences that you think I should be at, please let me know. I imagine I’ll agree with you.