Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.


Tuesday, August 08, 2006

The silent designer left early on Friday, stating that he was going to run an errand on his lunch break. He never came back. He called in yesterday. He called in late today and said he'll be in any minute. The remaining designer (who would love to take the silent designer’s position) brought this to the attention of the publisher’s wife. This is just wrong, by the way. It’s one thing to speak to the publisher, but going to his wife is a low blow. Not only is she self-righteous, but she’s also ignorant with nothing better to do than pester her husband's employees. All of this makes for a very bad combination. As expected, the publisher’s wife welcomed the drama and responded that she will gladly tell the slacker "he's gone" if this happens again. Here she rubbed her hooves together and grew horns.

But allow me to take a step back. Reading between the lines, all of this translates into the fact that we servants get a few chances around here. If I had it my way, the designer would be fired for not showing up. The design work here is a joke. A simple Quark layout. It wouldn’t be hard to replace him. Plus, it's obvious he doesn't want to be here any longer. On the other hand, perhaps this means I’ll benefit from this whole leniency movement, i.e. maybe they’ll give me a pardon after they find out I’m not Jewish.

It will go something like this:

Publisher’s Wife: “Next time you show up to work not Jewish, your ass is grass.”

Me: “Sorry—I won’t let it happen again. I’ll show up for work Jewish tomorrow.”

I'd say that sounds about right.

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