Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

In today's brief episode of "Fake Jewish People News," Madonna's likeness is stabbed by grown men wearing skirts and non-kosher meat is unknowingly consumed by Kosher Jews.

    "Esther's" promo video for her upcoming concert in Russia

  • Angry Russian Orthodox Christians protest Madonna's upcoming concert by driving a steak through her picture. They're offended by her defamation of their religion; in particular her enactment of a crucifixion onstage at her concerts. Ahh, poor Madonna will do anything to get attention. She's alway kind of relied on gimmicks. If not, she'd have to rely on her voice. Ouch. Now, what would Esther do if someone disrespected her religion? That's easy, she'd merely revoke her friendship from said dissenter. Anyway, watch the clip here.

  • "Kosher" Butcher selling non-Kosher meats (treif) to unknowing customers in Monsey, NY. Read the story here.

    -Special thanks go to Madonna's fake Jewish ass for consistently providing me with newsworthy material.
    -As a Fake Jew myself, I am a Fake Jewish people expert by default. Please note, however, these aren't my peeps.

    -I'll be back in just a few with the regularly-scheduled programming.
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