As previously mentioned, ever since I told the Manwhore where I was going for vacation,* he basically begged me to make him a photo documentary. So I, with the help of the girlfriend (my production assistant), have done exactly that.
There are quite a few disclaimers and asides for this one.
- I told Andre that, the night before, we had gone out to eat at a really busy outdoor restaurant. When we got the check, I noticed that at the bottom of it was the word, "Gringos." I asked him if I should be offended. He replied that, "No, we don't have racism down here. It's not derogatory." He went into a story about how his Korean friend who lives down there was at a grocery store where he heard some girl saying about him, "Who's the cute little Jap?" He got pissed and yelled at her. His guy friends wanted to know what the hell was wrong with him. "She called me a Jap!" "Man, it's cool, she liked you."
-Andre's bestfriend is a Jewish guy with the surname of Lago. The city is protected by a Statue of Liberty-sized Jesus Christ statue and people don't offer their families' many different lineages as a means of "identifying" with something. They are from their country, not an Italian, Spanish, German hybrid with a touch of Greekness.
-Andre told me that the government's new policies were working in favor of promoting racism. Their social classes are divided more into rich and poor than into black and white, but the government is trying to offer its version of "equal opportunity" school funding to the black population. "It's stupid because basically everyone here can trace their family roots back far enough to show that they are somehow black. Now the lighter people are going to start resenting the darker people who are getting special priviledges. If anything they should offer the privileges to the lower income families in general, despite their skin color." Much agreed.
-And speaking of stereotyping, or the lack thereof, there was a really obnoxious group of Italians from Jersey at a restaurant we went to. They were loud and had those horrible Joisey accents that I can't stand (can anyone?). In a stint of Italian pride, the alpha-Italian ordered the profiteroles in his native tongue (English with an Italian accent instead of a Joisey one). "The profiter-O-leeees!" Here I thought, "This is probably how people imagine me." Please don't. He and I are a different species.
And without further ado, this one's for you, Manwhore. After all, it is Monday:
Didn't make any notes. Her steroids seem to be wearing off though.
I threw this one right in the middle to fake out the Manwhore.
Although I'm trying to remain anonymous, I'll admit that the guy on the right is me.
This was a mom!
He better have a damn good personality.
Tell really funny jokes, at least?
They look like they'd be pretty. Nope.
Not even kidding.
The girlfriend said she wishes she could look like that after giving birth.
I told her she doesn't even look like that now. Just kidding-ish.
Settling for whatever we could find at this point.
And this brings us to the end of our story. Get it? End? Duh.
*It just wouldn't make sense for me to announce the real destination nor the actual dates that this vacation took place. Sometimes a guy just needs a break so he has to make up vacation time and recycle old documentaries.