Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.

Monday, December 18, 2006

The Manwhore has officially fallen off the deep end this week and I feel obligated to offer you a disclaimer before presenting this edition of Manwhore Monday: I’m just the messenger.

This story is even enough to make me blush with shame. In comparison to past Manwhore Mondays, this one is triple X (well, at least for this blog). I’ll try to make it short.

Yesterday a few of us went to the Manwhore’s favorite sports bar to watch football. One of the waitresses, who the Manwhore sees there regularly, was off the clock, getting drunk and decided to sit with us. She’s an Asian girl who started off somewhat shy but after a few shots gradually transformed into a tv-shoutin’, sex-crazed fiend. At one point she decided to solicit the Manwhore for sex. It wasn’t a hard sale. He left with her right then and there and told us he’d be right back. He's a classy dude.

At this point, we were creating a new hall of fame to be built in his honor.

About 15 minutes later, the girl comes back without the Manwhore.

Where is he?

Here the girl announces to the entire bar that “Your friend came in 10 seconds! I’m horny. I haven’t been laid in forever. I need to come!”

Needless to say, my other friend cozied right on up to her. Doesn’t he know better than to touch a girl the Manwhore has been with? Even if it was only for 10 seconds?

When I called to make fun of the Manwhore later last night I suggested he revisit his Jewish roots, call back the Israeli girl and beg for her forgiveness. He said he'll consider it. He asked me not to use yesterday's story for today's post. I said I wouldn't.

By the way, he says I can't post a picture of him and that I have to update you on the Greek girl I mentioned in last week’s edition. Not only did the guy she is in the middle of divorcing leave her for his brother’s ex-wife, the Manwhore is actually interested in her sister who he claims is much cuter than she is. He’s going to do some permanent damage to that one’s ego, similar to the damage the waitress did to his yesterday.

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