Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.


Tuesday, January 16, 2007


It's funny the things that can bring an otherwise miserable married couple together.

This morning, for instance, the Publisher's Wife received a seven (seven!) page letter from an advertiser detailing how rude and incompetent she is...amongst other things. Unfortunately, I haven't yet had a chance to see the actual letter, but since I sit within arm's reach of the Publisher's office, I can hear everything. The Publisher has oddly taken more offense at the letter than his wife and has been calling up everyone he knows to complain about it. Here are some of the highlights:

"She is unfit to be around kids." (The Publisher's rebuttal: "She's the best mother my children could have.")

"She yells at people as a means of communication." (The Publisher's rebuttal: "She was yelling at him to calm down because he was freaking out about something!")

"She writes out 'G_d' in emails." Examples: "Thank G_d" "Oh, my G_d" (The Publisher's rebuttal: As if he's some kind of an angel, always trying to weasel out of payments!)

"She treats her staff like they're slaves." (The Publisher, not surprisingly, did not argue here)

"She's unpleasant and is always complaining about someone." (The Publisher's rebuttal: "That's the pot calling the kettle black." Note: He didn't deny it)

"She's often inappropriately dressed to conduct business." (The Publisher's rebuttal: "What the hell is she supposed to wear to sell an ad? She can wear sweat pants for all I care." Note: Why is she selling ads in the first place? Oh yeah, because she fired two of our three ad sales people)

Since I'm relying solely on regurgitated hatred, that's all I've got right now. It's funny to see this couple come together to combat the only thing they actually have in common: hatred. Furthermore, I should add that the Publisher's Wife is totally guilty of everything stated above (less the first one).

And speaking of spying on something that is none of my business, my Co-worker with the cheating father had to postpone her crackdown this Saturday. Her father was home the whole weekend. He must know that they're onto him.

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