Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Hell, the bear can come too if he (she?) wants

An open letter to Gary Shteyngart. I figure this is relevant to the site because Gary's Jewish(ish) and well, I dig the guy's writing.

I know Gary will get this letter/humble invite because he Googles himself (don’t we all?)

Now, how could I possibly know this? Well, aside from a simple educated guess based on my own self-absorbed activity? Here goes: Someone came to my site after googling “Gary Shteyngart” and found me on the 50th page of results. Now, I’m as dedicated a fan as they come and not even I would look as far as the 50th page of results. An alternative theory is that Gary keeps his name on Google Alert, which again, is not a practice we should condemn. It is important to know what dim-witted crap is being uttered about you at all times. In summary, I know that the visit in question was good ol’ Gar (Can I call you that, Gar?)

That said:


I don’t want to ask you any deep questions or interview you or put a piece about you in this god awful magazine that I slave at daily, I just want to have a few drinks. We both live in New York. We both like to drink. It’s simple logic. Plus, I’ll pay. I know nary a Russian who could turn down such a generous offer.

Anyway, let me know. My email is over there on the right.


P.S. If you drink as much as you did this day, we’ll have to work out a deal. Like, I’ll get your first few drinks and you’re on your own after about 5 or 6.

These people interviewed him, so that I don't have to (I can just drink with him and leave the pedantic questions to the experts):

The Forward ("Six Degrees of Treyf")

...and many more.

In other news:
  • The girl at the bagel shop has recently upped the anty, making my price $4.50. Last time I wrote, the price was at $4.10. I was originally paying $2.50, while full price is $6.50.
  • The Secretary hasn't noticed that OrthoJew stole her mug.
  • The mailroom girl hasn't apologized.

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