Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Happy birthday to me!

Okay, okay, it’s not really my birthday. Rather, it’s my first one-month birthday here. One might even call it an anniversary. Whatever you call it, though, it’s definitely grounds for celebration. A celebration of the fact that I still have a job!

Now, I know that most people don’t typically celebrate their birthdays and anniversaries monthly, but those of us with shorter life spans—we tend to celebrate the days that we’ve got. For instance, a dog is said to celebrate its birthday eight times per every one human year. And a wasp? If I were a wasp I would celebrate a few times per day given the characteristic 12-22 day average life span. Many a movie has been made about people who are nearing the end. What do these people do? They celebrate! As for me, I’m no doctor, but I'm going to diagnose myself with just a few more months here. On that note and by that logic, I’m sure you can agree that this celebration is truly justified.

I have to commend my boss on his impeccable timing. He must have remembered my birthday, because after work last night he called me in to discuss my pay increase. Originally, he scheduled the increase to occur after three-months, but after having witnessed my dedication to the cause, he offered to do it sooner. Clearly the man knows a good thing when he sees it. That thing about him being stingy? I take it back.

In celebration of me, though, I just want to list a few of my accomplishments over the last month:

1) Implementing a blog on our web site
2) Hiring a PR person
3) Creating an entire Jewish tabloid, you know, just in case…
4) Dealing with the publisher’s wife without losing it
5) Discovering what a Briss is, showing visible disgust and then simultaneously redeeming myself.
6) Seeing Jewtopia
7) Eating lox on a bagel.
8) Driving SuperJew to quit (I can’t really take credit for this, but I would really like to)
9) Almost being an expert on a morning show yesterday.
10) Remaining gainfully employed

I’d say that all of these are cause for celebration in their own rite.

Number 10, however, is especially impressive. One might even say it’s the icing on my well-deserved birthday cake.

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