Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.


Thursday, October 26, 2006


Here's the rest of the story surrounding the muffin eating frenzy that occurred this morning. As all of us (minus the Publisher's Wife), were standing around eating the muffins that our new hero brought in this morning. The Publisher overheard me and the Silent Designer talking about my girlfriend. The Silent Designer asked me if she was Jewish and I said "no," because she's not and, hey, I'm not one to lie about these things.


Here, the Publisher, who seemed to be quite jovial after seeing his wife humiliated like so, decides that I have to date a Jewish girl. "The shiksas are pretty and all, but, well you know." I didn't say anything about how happy he seemed to be with his non-Shiksa wife because I'm just not that cruel.


Then, the Publisher did that thing where he says he's got someone for me. Never have I seen so much of this as I have since I started working here. My family and friends have never tried to hook me up with anyone. Nor have I ever heard of any of my friends trying to match up their friends with acquaintances, etc... I hear it all the time here. I even hear some of the single girls voicing the fact that they want to be set up, which I find odd, but different strokes for different folks and all that.


Anyway, he goes on to tell me that I could have a whole harem to choose from if I want. My mind is suddenly wandering. This could be very nice. My dream Harem would be very similar to my Dream Sukkah: Full of Japs; dancing around, feeding me grapes, trying to impress me with their funny jokes, shaking of their hips and scents of Myrrh.


Darling, you wouldn't believe it. I have to stay late at work tonight...

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