Not Chosen, Just Posin'

I just got a job with a Jewish magazine. I'm not Jewish. They think I am.

Friday, February 09, 2007

After pouring one out for my homie, Anna Nicole, last night (and subsequently drinking the eleven remaining in the pack), I'm not feeling up to par today. What does that mean for you? Fun with search terms, of course.

But before that, let's talk with our favorite Observant Orthodox Jewish doctor, Laura Schlessinger, and see if she has anything utterly brilliant to say in response to this.

Laura--are you there? It looks like she's silent...for once. My newly circumsized grandfather used to torture me by listening to Dr. L non-stop. This is payback, I mean, a tribute to the good ol' days.

That said, I am honored to report that the following search terms have led people to my site in the past two days.

Why am I puking green stuff?
You too drank too much to drown your Anna Nicole Smith woes?

Radish tattoo
Goes nicely with a pig tattoo, or so I hear.

the, envelope, which, you, sent, your, note, got, lost, and, you, didnt, sign, the, letter, dont, know, who, you, are, would, you, please, write, back, with, name, attached, thank, you, love, anne
I don't think you covered all the bases here. Psycho.

Israelis have tattoos
Old news

Gary Shteyngart February 2007
Told you.

Jap Model
You mean her?

Madam with whip
I am proud to say this came from the motherland. Isreal.

Pick up line anecdote
A dude walked into a bar, said something stupid, got laid.

A Jewish woman created barbie
This is true, although Barbie is clearly a shiksa.


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